I have been so lonely, so tired, so overwhelmed with grief, disappointment and fear since I started caring for Dad.  I never dreamed that my life could turn out to be in such shambles after experiencing such success in my business life.  I am so disappointed in me.  I really thought I was super woman, that I could do it by myself, but have failed miserably.  I am more disappointed in myself than anyone else could ever possibly be.

 After almost 5 years of caring for Dad, I find myself friendless, bankrupt and lonely.  I have gained 40 pounds.  I went to a perfect size 4 to a size 14 in a few short years.  Too bad my addiction is food.  I guess we always return to the comfort of our past.  Mine has always been food.  After losing over 80 pounds 20 years ago, I truly believed that my weight issue was over.  I seem to hide within myself  each time i got punched in the stomach,  much like a turtle with an impenetrable shell.  Each time I got knocked down, I simply ate and slept through it, until I had mustered the courage to face mine and Dad’s attackers again.

I figure this will be a good way to jump-start my life, I will start a physical cleanse along with this mental cleanse.  I need to get back in shape emotionally and physically.  Since I have no close friends to keep me on track, maybe someone I don’t know will offer encouragement to the finish line.